For quite a while now, I have felt bored with my daily life – not satisfied by what I fill my hours with, not satisfied by the amount of hours I fill. So I tried to do things differently, occupy my time with other things, more things. And then it hit me… I am not bored, I am empty. To fill my emptiness, I have been adding to my lists, making them longer, creating more chaos. I am disorientated by the stuff in my life, by the to-do lists, by the sheer amount of things I want to get done. Do you see the vicious circle I created? I tried to combat the crazy chaos by adding to it.
Surprise, surprise – it doesn’t work. My lists got longer, making me more despondent. Each time I looked at my to-do list, I would pick the things that are the easiest, that excite me the most, that will take the least time. But the other “must-do” parts of the list just sit there, teasing me, mocking me that I can’t bring myself to tackle them – to achieve what feels unachievable, to actually make the list shorter.
So what do I do? It would be “easy” to continue to ignore the hard parts, but they really have to get done. And they have to get done by me…
After trying to do it all on my own, trying to get through each day on my own steam, God spoke to me. Why in the name of all that is good and holy, was I trying to do it alone? Surely He will help me if I ask…
In the chaos I eventually find rest by seeking it with Him. Rest in the Father – rest in spending time with Him, in His word, listening to hear what He might want to say to me. Not physical rest (although that is important), but spiritual rest. Resting in His promises.
And with rest comes a certain amount of peace – a peace that is not of this world, that we can not hope to understand, but a peace which we must acknowledge and accept, for in that peace we find Him. There we will hear Him clearer, not what we want to hear but what He is saying.
When we hear what He wants us to, when we listen with open hearts, then we learn, we grow, we are better equipped to deal with the chaos that is not going to disappear. We are able to face each day, less daunted that before, less discouraged, because we start the day right, by resting in Him.